Call of Duty
You must complete at least two Call of duty games. It will be tough, and it will mean some late nights, but stick with it. Never three it could cause you to suffer with PTSD. Training Aids No need for military training, but I would advise you to watch the following films and try and pick up a few tips. It will give you that feeling you’ve been there and done it. The Guns of Navarone, Kelly's Heroes, A Bridge too Far, The Longest Day, Apocalypse Now, The Matrix, Blazing Saddles, The Desert Song, Finding Nemo and Mary Poppins.
Tattoo’s
An SAS tattoo is not a good idea. For one, members of the Special Forces wouldn’t go around advertising it and two, if you are a Walt and have already got a Special Forces tattoo, don’t have it next to your I LOVE TRACY tattoo, it’s a bit of a giveaway.
Choose the Best
If you do get asked what mob you were in and stuff, some Walt’s say the SAS or make up some random fictional unit like the SOANBRRRDT - Special Operations Amphibious Naval Boat Rescue, Response and Reconnaissance Development Team. Be warned, that might lead to some tricky questions. Don’t hit the panic button, though, you can always fall back on the ‘I can’t really say, I’m tied under the Official Secrets Act, sorry.’ My advice is if you’re going to Walt then say you were a cook, or something a little less dramatic, and anyway military cooks have killed far more people than the SAS over the years.
Medals
Don't wear too many medals. Get them in the right order and make sure your gongs are protected. They could easily melt if it’s a freak warm day. Take special care with your CDM from the 70s, the Cadburys dairy milk medal could be worth a few quid nowadays. If you are a beginner Walt and haven’t any medals yet, before you go trawling eBay, there is good news if you were born in 1928, the same year Mickey was created. You might be entitled to the Mickey Mouse Watch Decoration. Very unlikely though, as that would put you in your 90’s.
Standards
Walt attacking a Walt is rare, but not unheard of. If you see any pathetic attempts at Walting go for it, be a proud Walt, out them, they give proper Walt’s a bad name!
The Heat of Battle
Most military personnel never talk about what they did ‘in the heat of battle’ but they will tell you about how cheap the whores were in Belize and Berlin. Or when they blew up a camel in desert storm. My advice is that you don’t go down the road of ‘I remember slotting a load of the Taliban in Afghan.’ Walt alert will start ringing in their heads.
Rumbled
If you are close to getting rumbled, I suggest that you say something like you once had a rather serious bang on the head and, sometimes, your memory is a bit wanting. It’s probably true anyway!
Remembrance Day
Once you get through your parade, my advice is not to stay for the p*** up. Being exposed as a Walt by three hundred p***ed up angry veterans, could be a bad move and have a lasting effect on your physical appearance. But the best piece of advice I can give is don’t do it, you are stealing someone else’s valour you pathetic piece of s**t. Lots more in ENDEX 2 ‘uncut.’ Warning! If, easily offended I really do advise you not to read this book. www.clivewardauthor.com
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Available on Amazon AU, kindle price $6.26 or free on Kindle Unlimited https://www.amazon.com.au/Endex-2-Uncut-Clive-Ward-ebook/dp/B07H5SYQY9/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1538225476&sr=8-1&keywords=ENDEX+2
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