Out of all my postings, Germany was the best. Our regiment was one of many regiments sent out there to drink cheap beer as part of the British Army of the Rhine. Our other role when we were sober was spent on standby, ready to move at a moment’s notice, it was called ‘Active Edge.’ We’d be crashed out to our top secret, harbour areas, only to find the bratty wagon was already there. Our job was to defend West Germany and NATO in the event of a Soviet invasion. But everyone knew if they did invade, we’d be about effective as an officer with a compass.
We lived out there for nearly five years, 1979-84 for most of it in an alcoholic stupor that’s why my memory of being there is therefore somewhat hazy. They say, ‘If you have memories of Germany then you weren't doing it properly.’
Most of the barracks have gone now, supermarkets and housing estates built in their place. A bit sad really, all those memories and great times. That’s why I write stuff like this so we can look back and our kin can read about what we got up to in a 100 years time.
‘Here, read this son, find out what your Great, Great, Grandad got up to back in the land of the old and bold.’ I bet it will confuse the s**t out of them.
‘So basically, Grandad played his part in holding back the Russian Hordes.'
‘That’s right son.’
‘Whilst getting p***ed, fat, laid, doing the occasional Active Edge, whoring, Exercise, getting p***ed, whoring, Op Banner, exercise, eating his own body weight in Brattys, Currywurst, Schnitzel, Pommes, getting p***ed, exercise, whoring and by the way what’s a peroxide hairy blonde, Dad?’
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