The main object of barracks is to separate soldiers from the civilian population and reinforce discipline and training. Everybody has experienced bad accommodation, cess pits of filth and neglect...apart from the RAF of course. But I’ve heard a few stories about RAF lads who experienced Two Star, and even One Star hotels, yes, One-Star!! Respect. What next, not a five miler of death, but a six?!!
For me though, the worst accommodation must be Airport Camp, Belize, 1978. We walked into our new accommodation. It was very basic to say the least. Metal lockers, metal beds, and an army issue six-foot table in the centre of the room, with a few bibles placed on it. I suppose they were there to give you your last rites after spending a night in that shithole. The air conditioning was a window frame, minus the glass, covered only with ripped mesh, to keep out the mosquitoes, sand flies and the hundreds of other flying creatures. We were less than impressed. We were only in there a few minutes when we looked round and found one of our section had disappeared. ‘Where’s Eddie gone?’ I asked. ‘Don’t tell me, the insects have devoured him already.’ My comment was met with blank looks from the rest of the section.
‘We are surrounded by the jungle. You’ve got to have your wits about you in this place,’ I said jokingly. It was ok, he’d just nipped to the bogs.
I was to spend the next nine months in this place, apart from the occasional trips to the jungle. It was sweltering outside and like a sauna inside. By 6pm it was already starting to get dark, the room was still hot and humid, so we all headed outside onto the veranda to catch the breeze. The mozzies had finally buggered off. But the respite didn’t last long. The mozzies were replaced by sand flies, millions of the little b*****ds. The little f****rs could bite. It was as though they’d just changed stag with the mosquitos. SAND FLIES - Everything alright lads? MOZZIES - Everything’s fine buddy, oh, just letting you know there’s a bunch of new whiteys from Blighty to get your teeth into. BULLIES AND BULSHIT Warning! If easily offended, I really do advise you not to read this book. www.clivewardauthor.com
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